A common theme I notice when reading inspiring books or listening to podcasts on people who have overcome adversity is: acceptance of what is.
A beautiful example of this is the Stoic concept “Amor Fati”, which roughly translates as “love of fate” or “love of one’s fate”.
Amor Fati is the practice of accepting and embracing everything that has happened, is happening and will happen and making the best out of it.
“My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it… but love it.”
This mindset allows us to treat each and every moment—no matter how challenging—as something to embrace, not avoid.
To not only be ok with what is, but to love it and become better for it.
Life is always changing and certain things are out of our control. But what we can control is our thoughts, actions and perceptions.
“You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.”
- Viktor Frankl: Holocaust Survivor
The only thing you ever have any control of is your current thought and the actions that follow.
This is not about exerting more control over the world, but to take responsibility for how we view it and respond to it. Making a conscious decision to change our perceptions for the better.
When events have already happened we get no benefit from walking around with negativity. Negativity won’t change the past, however optimism can improve how we live right now.
“Stop wishing for something else to happen, for a different fate. That is to live a false life.”
“Accept the fact that all events occur for a reason, and that it is within your capacity to see this reason as positive.”
Instead of using our precious energy worrying about the future, agonizing about the past or resenting our present circumstances, we could use that energy as fuel to become the best version of ourselves and create our dream life.
“You can’t cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It’s just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it.”
Tips for Loving What Is:
Drop the resistance to how life is
Accept your current situation as it is
Understand that this is the way things are for now and trust everything is working out for your highest and greatest good
Use obstacles and adversity as fuel for your potential
Feel your feelings & be mindful of your thoughts
Practice gratitude daily
Be vigilant about bringing your attention to the present moment again and again
One of my favorite affirmations to read and repeat in hard times is:
“Everything that happens in my life is always in my favor, and I created it on some higher level of my own consciousness for the purpose of discovering my own magnificence.”
Or if you want to keep it simple sweetheart, repeat:
If you are struggling right now or going through a difficult time, my heart goes out to you. The fact that you are going through something challenging shows you are meant for greatness.
Keep moving forward. I believe in you!
Amor Fati, my friend!
-K
““If it happened, then it was meant to happen, and I am glad that it did when it did. I am meant to make the best of it.””
P.S. I was inspired to write this post after a dear friend reached out to me during a hard time. We both shared our current struggles (at first there were tears and then we ended with laughter). We felt so much lighter & uplifted after our conversation. Let this be a reminder, to reach out to someone whenever you need, it could make a world of difference for you both :)
“Connection is why we're here. It's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”